Here are some Big Cat jokes to enjoy. If you think of any you may wish to add Please E-Mail me at the address at the bottom of the page. Thank`s !
Q: What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
A: Let us prey!
Q: Why does a lion kneel before it springs?
A: Because it is preying (praying)
Q: Why do lions always eat raw meat?
A: Because they don't know how to cook.
Q. Why did the lion loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Q: How much does a lion trainer have to know?
A: More than the lion!
Q: Why did the lion trainer buy new clothes for working with his lions?
A: He wanted to take 'pride' in his appearence!
Q: Where does a lion sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!
Q: What did the lioness say to the cub chasing a hunter?
A: Stop playing with your food!
Q: What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in it`s mane?
A: A dandy lion!
Q: Why was the lion-tamer fined?
A: He parked on a yellow lion!
Q: What do you call a show full of lions?
A: The mane event!
Q: Why don't lions like fast food?
A: Because they can't catch it!
Q: Why does a lion have a tail tuft on his tail?
A: Where ELSE would he have a tail tuft?
Q: Why are lions religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Q: Why did the lions eat the preacher?
A: Because he told them that they must put away their pride!
Q: Who helps older lions to cross the street?
A: Cub Scouts!
Q: Where do lions live?
A: On MANE Street!
Q: What should you know if you want to be a lion tamer?
A: More then the lion.
Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: Pleased to eat you.
-Catching Lions Mathematically-
1. Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you...
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction...
Implies you have caught the lion (Assuming that you're alive).
2. Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also
run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.
3. Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive probability
that the lion should be in the cage.So set the trap,
sit down and wait.
4. Inverse Transformation Method:
We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it.
Perform an inverse transformation with respect to lion.
Lion's in and we are out!
5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows
every thing to pass in it except the lions.
Then sweep the entire forest with it.
6. Integration Differention Method:
Integrate the forest over the entire the area.
The lion is some where in the result.
So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t. the lion
to trace out the lion.
7. The Sardar's Method:
Don't try. You'll get caught by the lion.
-Hiding A Lion-
Two lions escaped from a zoo near Washington, D.C., and took off in separate directions. Weeks later they ran into each other in the middle of the night.
I'm having a terrible time getting food, the first lion said. How have you been getting along? Just fine," the second lion said. "I found a good hiding place in the Pentagon. I eat one general a week. It'll be years before they notice that anyone is missing.
-Safari Trouble-
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, ''What are we going to do?
''Nothing,'' said the hunter, ''The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.''
Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!
Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A: A tiger moth!
Q: Whats striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!
Q: Whats the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A: The tiger has the mane part missing!
Q: What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman?
A: Frost-bite!
Q: How are tiger`s like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!
Q: On what day do tiger`s eat?
A: Chewsday!
Q: If a four legged animal is a quadruped and a two legged animal is a biped,what is a tiger?
A: Stri-ped!
Q: What do you call a tiger that likes to dig in the sand?
A: Sandy claws!
Q: How do tigers describe themselves?
A: Purr-fect!
Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells!jungle bells!
Q: What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
A: A tiger lily!
Q: Who went into the tiger`s lair and came out alive?
A: The Tiger
Q: Why shouldn`t you grad a tiger by his tail?
A: It may only be his tail, but it could be your end
Scientists say they have discovered a tiger breed they didn't know existed. It has no sharp teeth or claws, no way of protecting itself - it's called the Cincinnati Bengal Tiger.
Q: What do leopards say after lunch?
A: That sure hit the spots!
Q: What's spotted and bouncy?
A: A leopard on a trampoline!
Q: Why can`t a leopard hide?
A: Because he`s always spotted!
Q: Why wouldn't the leopard take a bath?
A: He didn't want to get spotlessly clean!
Q: On What side does a leopard have the most spots?
A: Inside!
Q: What did the one leopard say to the other leopard deep in the Jungle?
A: I spotted you!
Q: Why didn't the leopard go on vacation?
A: It couldn't find the right spot!
Q: How does a leopard change its spots ?
A: When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another!
Q: What kind of cat shouldn`t you play cards with?
A: A Cheetah!
Q: What animal gets the most bad grades in school?
A: A cheetah!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cheetah an a hamburger?
A: Fast Food!
Big Cat Humor
